Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A lesson in self-worth

I am sorry for the negativity in yesterday's post. However, when I decided to write this blog to document my eating disorder recovery, I also decided to describe it honestly and completely. The honest and complete truth is that no one recovers over night. I have been recovering for a long time and I still have dark days. The good news is they aren't as common as they used to be. And today was a very good day.

I spent the day at the pool with my nieces. In a bathing suit. No one called me fat, which I guess is the worst thing that could have happened. I had a great time with the girls and it made me wish I could see them more often. They are very precious to me and I hope they always know that. I wish that I could protect them from ever feeling miserable about their bodies. I wish I could tell them not to listen to any voice (their own or otherwise) that suggests they aren't good enough, that they aren't skinny enough or beautiful enough. They are the most beautiful girls in the entire world, and I tell them so. I know they hear it, I just wish I could make them believe it and remember it. My mother always told me the same things--that I was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough to do anything that I wanted to do. But I never listened. I had to fall apart. I had to learn it on my own. I pray my nieces never have to.

It has taken a long time but I'm starting to believe all of those terribly cliche things that adults tell children.

It's what is on the inside that counts.

How silly is that?

Not a all...

1 comment:

  1. Do not apologize for being 'negative'! honesty is SO important and it's the most helpful thing. If you pretend to be well all the time, then that is no help to anyone! I do understand where you're coming from, though. I feel like I always need to be strong, but I do know that honesty will help me more than anything else.

    You're right, it's not silly at all. It's the truth. It's sad we didn't all believe it when we were first told it years and years ago, but society puts so much important on appearance that it's not really a surprise we think looks matter more than they do.

    I'm glad you had a good day :)