So, a few weeks ago I made a vow to free myself from my addiction to diet pepsi.
(Was it really a few weeks? My God, it feels like years)
I don't know if it is an appropriate comparison, but I understand why my mother has never been able to quit smoking after all these years. The problem (by her own admission) is not that she can't do it, it's that deep down she doesn't want to.
When it comes to diet sodas, I don't want to.
They're so delicious.
I need them.
Ugh. This is harder than I thought it would be.
The good news is I haven't slipped yet. I have just wanted to. I have cut the number of cans I drink back by quite a bit. Most of the time I only drink 2 per day now: one as soon as I wake up in the morning and another sometime after dinner. There have been a few days that I drank three. There was one day that my boyfriend and I went out to lunch and I ordered a diet soda, drank it, had a refill, and drank that before either of us really thought about it. For the most part, I've been doing much much better.
But sometimes it's so tempting. Sometimes I dream about drinking like 10 in a row rapid fire. I have never done that before, and it sounds very unappealing to most of you I'm sure. And I wouldn't actually do it. I just worry sometimes that I'm trying to cut it out too quick. The point is, this is much much harder than I thought it would be.
I told my boyfriend in the grocery store today that I thought I was going to give up and go back to drinking as many as I want.
It's not alcohol, I said.
It's not a hard drug.
It's soda. Right?
He gave me the look he gives when I've said something ridiculous.
Okay, you're right, I said. I can do this.
Then we got to the soda aisle and diet pepsi was on sale. The sale of the century: three 12 packs for 10 dollars PLUS an extra 12 pack for free. That's 48 sodas for 10 bucks. Insanity. Who could pass that up?
Not me. So I bought four 12 packs.
But I'm going to stick to my plan of drinking two per day.
Who knows-- if I can stick with it, maybe eventually I'll cut back to one per day.
But I have to want to.
Yeah. I'm working on that part.